4:30 a.m. Thinking, August 25th, 2010
“Nothing has meaning except for the meaning I give it.” T. Harv Eker
“Nothing is personal. Observe. Do not “Mind Read”. Jim Fortin
These two thoughts have been ringing in my mind a lot over the last few weeks. I was presenting to a most amazing group of people last week and when teaching this point, I made the comment that the most comfortable way for me to stand is with my arms crossed, resting on the slight protrusion of my abdomen. It is much more comfortable for me to stand that way than with my arms down at my sides, and being comfortable puts me in a more receptive frame of mind. Yet, most people will see my stance as my being closed off to their input, not interested, bored, and that is so far from the truth.
Another example most salespeople can relate to is when you expect a call from someone to confirm an appointment, and they seemingly vanish from the face of the planet. How often do you find yourself reading things into situations, only to be proved crazy? You know, you find yourself getting frustrated because you can’t reach them by phone or by email, so you spend a few days convincing yourself how awful they are, how they must have done business with someone else, only to discover a few days later that they were very sick, a family member died, or some other such thing.
Observe how often you fall into these thought patterns, analyze them, and you will discover ways to a more peaceful life when you remove this thought pattern from your life.
“People that do things out of obligation often do not do well, for themselves or those who they are doing it for.” John Alexandrov (paraphrased)
“If I make the decision not to go with you, you have to be okay with that.” Nick Simmons to Gene Simmons
In his best-selling book, The Money Chi, John talks about a common situation, the adult children in a family business who are working there more out of a sense of obligation than a love for their work. John talks about how those adult children will often have ruinous financial lives, and often will be the final generation to operate the family business.
The second quote is from a recent episode of Simmons Family Jewels, the show about Gene Simmons of KISS fame, and his family.
Nick is a budding musical talent and recording companies are interested in him. His father is interested in releasing his music as well, however, Nick feels extra pressure from his father and that is putting him off going with the decision he really wants to make.
Do you pressure people to do things? Sure, we all do, however, where do you draw the line? Think about it.
I am so immersed in observing people these days, their speech patterns, body language, their eyes, that I am finding myself on alert for things that are seemingly incongruous in their words and physical state. If you’ve ever studied body language, you know about eye movements.
I think of my current path through life as purposefully slower, and that’s a good thing.